Like an evil child who throws eggs just to watch them break, you have disrupted my zen. Instead of treading thoughtfully through your day, you stomp and crash and bang around. You are a moose among a garden of orchids. My teeth hurt just from the mind-numbing frustration of watching you force things that should naturally and beautifully happen. I tried to foster a cooperation between us so that we could both enjoy the same space and flow seamlessly through our work together, but you look upon me with confusion and contempt. I am through with you as I watch you drown in the murky depths of your ignorance.

Reflection

Ode to a Friend

You make me smile

You inspire me to laugh

I look to you

When my day is drab

You keep me grounded

You give good advice

I look to you

When I need someone wise

You look out for me

You lend a helping hand

Of course I need you

I'm your biggest fan!

Duality

Without the predator, there is no prey

Am I the hunter, or the hunted?

Both

But for the want of a slave, there is no master

Circle

The end and the beginning are the same

Hungry butterflies

Welding sparks that I create

Please fly away, fly

Stranded in Ohio

You know that you are an Oregonian stranded in Ohio if....

You pull up to the gas pump and sit there for an eternity because you have no clue how to operate the pumps and you don't think you should have to pump your own gas anyhow.

You drive around lost because there are no mountains and all the cornfields look the same.

You wonder where all the drive-through espresso stands are.

Why is farm-raised Atlantic Salmon the only salmon in restaurants?

Doesn't anyone recycle?!?

No fireworks stands....

Hmmmm, people hate the outdoors and try to climate-control everything as much as possible.

No Thai food?

What is with this humidity? I don't have gills!!!!

The Fire

The fire burned within me

I burned within the fire

I was the fire

The angry coals fed the rage of the flames

It challenged me

I felt the need to overcome the natural fear

There was a problem

The fire needed a part of me

Payment as it were

I had to leave something important

So I left you to burn

You, who had lurked in the back of my mind

You who had haunted my dreams and waking thoughts

You were the source of my torment

And I left you there

In the flames

You were completely consumed

You belong to the fire

The fire belongs to me

Making a Bench

I wanted to do something special for my hubby on our anniversary. We had been wanting a bench for our mudroom, but it needed to be an odd size and therefore custom made. I hadn't done any woodworking in over a decade, but I thought I could probably do this.

I went to Home Depot and got some poplar and had them cut it there with their radial arm saw. I ended up with four 2ft long boards, a dowel, and a bottle of Titebond III.

When I got home, I knew that I wanted to make some dado joints, but didn't quite know how that I was going to do it. Cue in my Father-in-Law who said that he had a dado bit for his router. Cool! He even had a special table and fence that he set up for me.

I measured and marked out the cuts and then cut the dados.

After the dados were cut, I drilled and countersunk some holes and assembled the bench with woodscrews and the TitebondIII.

I filled the holes with the dowels so that the woodscrews didn't show, then I finish sanded everything. After staining the bench with a light colored stain, I used a spray lacquer to add a durable finish. Volia!

2nd day of riding - stupid asshole!

I decided to go for a scooter ride after work today. I got spotted by the in-laws and had a little explaining to do before I started on my ride. I ventured out on to both residential streets and county highways. I fought the wind and the tight curves of Demming road. I both gave and received the "biker wave". I even got waved at by a guy on a lawnmower - how cool is that!

It wasn't until I was a few blocks away from home that I encountered the asshole. Now remember, the scooter that I was on is day-glow yellow. I ride with both headlights on also. I arrived at a four way stop where I was planning on turning left. My signal was on. The only other car was across the intersection who was also going to turn left. There was no one else. I let the car across from me complete its turn before I decided to go. I just had one last glance and saw out of the corner of my eye a red taurus with a driver that looked to still be in high school. He was coming from my left pretty fast as I was starting my left turn. It really didn't look like he was going to stop so I slowed. I stopped in the middle of the intersection right as he blew right through the stop sign. He didn't even slow down until he reached the point just before where I was paused. He maneuvered around me and only gave me a sideways glance as he went on his merry way. I raised my hand in a "What the Hell?!?" sort of gesture, but I don't think he understood.

Hubby says that assholes like him are similar to road construction - there is really no escaping either one....

I wanna ride!!!!

So, awhile back, I wrote about getting my motorcycle learner's permit. After waiting for the weather to warm up, I finally took up a co-worker on his offer to loan his scooter to me.

Yesterday, he picked me up and took me to his garage after work. I was expecting a little Vespa-like scooter. Instead, the door opened and revealed a day-glow yellow, 250cc, big ole Honda. It actually looks like a cross between a rice rocket and a scooter. So he showed me all the switches and everything and demonstrated the operation of this contraption for me and then it was up to me to actually get on and ride. So I strapped on the full-face helmet that he loaned me and got on. The only thing that was really foreign to me was the throttle and the fact that I didn't have to pedal. Due to my years of bicycling experience, I am pretty natural at leaning into corners, balancing, and using hand brakes. The co-worker was sweet enough to follow me for a few blocks to make sure that I was alright, but after that, I was on my own. I had really never ridden a motorized, two-wheeled device so this really was a first for me. I spent about twenty minutes riding around the subdivision getting used to everything, and then it was time to actually ride the seven miles home on country roads. I won't bore you with every minute detail, but needless to say, I made it home! It was really fantastic and mildly terrifying, but I was really quite proud of myself. Yay!!!!!

The Human Wet Blanket

Ok, so I know that I hardly ever mention work, but today is different.

I prefer to work alone. I have my own (most of the time) weld area that is fenced off by weld curtains with only two entrances. The last guy who was assigned to help me now refuses to work with me because (as he told the supervisor) "it is just too stressful". (Insert evil laugh here - muahahaha!) His welds were crap anyway. He had no problem sending substandard welds out to the customers. I am the lead welder, I totally put my foot down about the crap he was sending out. Anyhow, he didn't last long in my weld area.

The guy who is now helping me can weld and knows better than to send crappy welds out, but he is the most negative person that I know. He can literally take glitter and unicorns and turn it into either a problem with management that will lead to the downfall of the company, or a government conspiracy that will lead to the end of the world. The worst part is that he doesn't shut up. He takes one simple point and drags it out for like a half hour or more.

I came into work in a serious funk this morning and told him that I would be keeping my earbuds in all day. Thankfully, he got the hint and left me alone. There are few things nicer that when I have my welding helmet down and my earbuds in so I can be in my own little world.

Did you ever?

Did you ever stand at the edge of the water and wonder how many dead bodies are concealed within the murky depths? Have you ever looked into the inky blackness of a dark forest and wondered about deceased lurking within the shadows?

When I watch the news and hear about someone taking a walk and happening upon a dead body, I wonder about all the undiscovered bodies. I also wonder about the people in the depths of history who have died in this area. Were there battles? Revenge taken on love lost? Criminals interrupted in the process of a crime? What if there were little virtual little orange flags hovering above the site of every death and the site of every undiscovered body? What would my weekend stroll look like? Do you ever think about these things?

More random poetry

I wrote this particular selection while I was in welding school. I'm sure we all have someone that we can apply this to though.

I know you like me

But I think you're an idiot

You find excuses to talk to me

And you convince me even more

I can't stand to be around you

Your ugly sense of humor repulses me

You wave your stupidity like a flag

Showing everybody just how dumb you can be

I know you like me

But I think you're an idiot

There you are again

You stand there whining about how hard it is to weld

Here I am trying to practice

Are you still talking?

Listen, your welding sucks and I know you like me

But I think you're an idiot

Here is another one written about the same time

Hello?

I want to speak with you

The phone is ringing

Why don't you answer?

I know you are there

Sitting and staring at the phone

I need to talk to you

It might be urgent

Why can't you be bothered?

I must be heard

Yet your feet don't move

Glued to the floor by apathy

It is so typical of you

I can't stand that blank, confused look

Goodbye.

Yet another one.....

There is no shade

Summer's leaves turned into a brilliant warning of winter to come

Then fell away like advice unheeded

The shade does not matter

Behind the wall of clouds, the sun takes refuge

Everything flees the path of the piercing North wind

The tourists, complete with cameras and road maps, have gone

Birds and people head south to a warmer climate

Go! We will be here when you return with the sun

Here is a much newer one

I want you

I want to feel your fingernails tracing down my back

I want to enjoy the sensation of your lips on mine

I want to discover the secret places within you

I want you to need me

Yet you don't

You use my fantasies for your satisfaction

You stay just outside of reach

You want to use me up in just one night

I am worth more

I want to tell you that I love you

But I don't

I am in love with my fantasy of you

That is all

Spring!

Judging by the weather and all the daffodils, spring has sprung! I decided to take full advantage of the lovely weather today and rent a rototiller to turn up the veggie garden. I went to the local hardware store to rent one, but they had already rented out the front-tine tiller that I like, so I was stuck with the rear-tine tiller. OMG - I will never do that again! That tiller totally kicked my butt!!!! It was extremely difficult to control. I managed to run over my pitchfork, the decorative plant hanger/suet feeder hanger, the front step, and almost hit the heat pump. I did get some earth turned up and it was mostly where I intended, but that stupid tiller fought me tooth-and-nail. At least I am done with the tilling and can start thinking about planting a garden in a couple of weeks.

Trees

Have you hugged a tree today?
I love trees! I don't think that most people realize how much trees do for us. They help us breathe by consuming CO2 and giving out Oxygen. Trees cool us in the summer by providing shade and yet they allow the sun to reach us in the winter. Trees are also beautiful, providing color and variation to the world around us.

Maybe you should take a moment and just quietly contemplate the lovely tree outside your window and be silently thankful for the beauty that surrounds you.

Random Miscellaneous Thoughts

You haven't properly started your day until you have been looked upon disdainfully by a cat!*

*bored, disdainful look provided courtesy of Marcie

Have you ever thought that your pants were on fire and you turned out to be correct?

Haiku Madness

I am by myself

There is no one close to me

I like it that way

My fences are tall

They are there to keep you out

Please do not intrude

As I fix the phone

My friends eat the cookie dough

We will watch TV

Creamed corn is really great

The flower roars like milk toast

Violent are the cats

I do not trust you

You have ravaged my soul

Birds will eat your flesh

Grey water is cold

Mountain ranges rise above

No people to see

Lines and arrows point

Blueprint says how to weld it

Will I ever learn

Fatigue haunting me

My eyelids want to fall down

Not awake right now

And now for something completely different:

As I pass you on the street

Do you remember me

Is my face reminiscent of another life

Do you spend your nights dreaming

Of the love we had

I loved you so

The touch of your hand

It lingers on my cheek

The moisture of your kiss

Hasn't left my lips

I wish I could turn back time

Undo all the wrongs

There has to be a reason

For the void in my soul

If I would have known

It would hurt this much

Maybe I wouldn't have let you in

I don't know

I have so much to say

But you don't even look up

Carpe Diem

I had a vacation day today, and after the terrible week that I had, they couldn't have convinced me to come in for any reason. I decided to "Carpe Diem". I could literally feel the potential that the day had to offer and I wanted to take full advantage.

I got up at 6:45 and couldn't make the bed due to a nesting cat

She stayed there almost all day.

So I ate some yogurt and then left the house.

I filled the Subaruski with fuel - $41 - ouch! and started my adventure.

My first stop was the Bureau of Motor Vehicles testing center. I took my written test for my Motorcycle learner's permit and got 100% - woohoo!!!

After I wrapped that up, I got a couple of mochas and took one to hubby who was at work.

Then came grocery shopping.

I came home and put the groceries away then changed clothes and got to work. I sanitized both the cat boxes - they needed it. Then I got my chainsaw out and got down to business with a dead willow and a bunch of downed limbs from an ice storm. I totally love my little chainsaw!

I spent a couple of hours cutting everything up and I decided to burn some of the smaller stuff while I ate lunch. Fire makes the awesome day so much more awesome!!!!

In the center of the pic, at the corner of the fence, is the nice little woodpile that I made.

After I was done with that, I went inside and cleaned up. Then I scrubbed down the bathroom and waxed the shower and bathroom counter.

It was about 3pm by this time, so I decided that homemade calzones were the order for the day. They contained chicken italian sausage (healthier than pork), green onion, red bell pepper, carrots, kalamata olives, feta cheese, tomato paste, fat free mozzarella, fresh basil, and garlic. I also made the crust from scratch.

The dinner was really tasty, and after we were finished, I convinced the hubby to take me bowling. We bowled, played pool, and played video games. Then we finished the evening off by going to Dairy Queen and getting a blizzard.

So that is how my awesome day off went!!!! I wish they were all that good!

A Poem and an Introduction

I thought that it would be fitting to share one of my favorite poems in my first blog entry. This particular poem has always hit rather close to home.

The Men That Don’t Fit In

by Robert Service

There’s a race of men that don’t fit in,
A race that can’t stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don’t know how to rest.

If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they’re always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: “Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!”
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It’s the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that’s dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life’s been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He’s a rolling stone, and it’s bred in the bone;
He’s a man who won’t fit in.

Anywho, my name is Weldrwomn. I am am welder by trade and I also weld as a hobby. I enjoy creating things and am most often inspired by nature. I have some of the things that I create on my etsy site here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/weldrwomn. I also enjoy bellydancing and social ballroom dancing as pastimes, but am really not terribly graceful.